[butidonthavemoney]

Missing… (From the Producers of Lost)

 

Chapter 2:

 

25 minutes past the Misplacement… On the Shore…

 

Rudy Gay, OJ Mayo and Ronnie Brewer were all huddled up next to a palm tree near the shore, trying to figure out what happened. This was more difficult than it should have been, as it was hard to talk over Mike Conley, who was still screaming at the skies.

 

"MISSSSSINNNGGG!!! WE’RE MISSSSSING!!! NOOOOO!!! MISSSSSING!!!"

 

"Guys we have to figure out what’s going on. The rest of the team is on the brink." Ronnie Brewer explained.

 

"We were practicing, and then all of a sudden, we were here. Like we teleported." OJ Mayo said.

 

"Well I don’t think anyone did this on purpose." Rudy Gay added. "Just look at these guys. Mike is still screaming, Lester and Marko are crying and holding each other, Zach is missing and…"

 

"MISSSSSINGGGG!!!!!!" Mike yelled as he interrupted the trio.

 

Rudy paused for a second to catch his breath. "and Darrell is dead."

 

"Was that a dinosaur that killed him?" OJ asked.

 

"Looked like it, and those sharks had to be like 25 feet long." Rudy responded.

 

"I guess swimming home is out of the question." Ronnie said.

 

"That was a dinosaur Ronnie." Rudy explained. "I think we traveled back in time."

 

"Let’s just take a second to think about how stupid that sounded." OJ said.

 

"Guys, no! We can’t turn on each other!" Ronnie said. "If we stick together, we can see our way through this!"

 

"He’s right!" OJ exclaimed. "Nothing can stop the three of us. We just have to carry the rest of the team on our…"

 

"Shhh…" Rudy interrupted. "It just got a whole lot quieter…"

 

The trio turned around to see that Mike Conley was no longer at the spot that he has been for the previous 25 minutes and he wasn’t screaming either. They all turned camera right to see Mike, Lester, Marko, Lance, Marc and Hasheem on their knees bowing to John Bryant.

 

"We praise you, oh benevolent John Bryant." The group chanted to a confused looking John Bryant.

 

OJ Mayo walked over to the group. "What’s going on over here?" he asked.

 

"John has the powers. He will free us, but only if we submit to his will." Lester Hudson explained in a slow and lifeless manner.

 

"They’ve been zombieized!" Rudy exclaimed.

 

"I swear I don’t know how we got here!" John Bryant cried. "I don’t know why they’re worshipping me!"

 

This gave Ronnie Brewer an idea. He rounded up OJ, Rudy and John and said, "We can use this to our advantage. Let’s face it, these guys can’t take care of themselves. John seems decent, let them worship him for a while. They can build shelter, find food and protect each other. In the meantime, we can try to find out where we are, and how we can get home."

 

Rudy clinched his fist in excitement. "Awesome idea Ronnie! You up to the task JB?"

 

"I wouldn’t know…"

 

"Listen John, you have to help us! Be more confident! You can help the entire team. Just tell these guys what to do and try to keep everyone alive!"

 

John was conflicted. He wouldn’t know the first thing about keeping people safe. After all, he felt the ferry operator’s death and drowning was partially his fault. However he finally felt like he was a part of the team. He slightly shook his head. "Ok guys. I’m in. I’ll be worshipped for you."

 

OJ, Rudy and Ronnie all smiled. "You’re going to do great man! We’ll be back as soon as possible!" OJ said to the clearly uncomfortable John Bryant.

 

"OK guys! Let’s go find some answers!" Ronnie shouted as he put his hand out.

 

"Let’s get back home!" Rudy shouted as he put his hand on top of Ronnie’s.

 

"Let’s save our friends!" OJ yelled as he put his hand on top of Rudy’s.

 

"BREAK!" They all shouted simultaneously as they threw their hands in the air.

 

"Uhhh… God?" Hasheem asked John as he raised his hand. "Marcus stole my shorts."

 

John looked at the pantsless Hasheem Thabeet and then took a deep breath. "Looks like I’ve got my work cut out for me…"

 

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35 minutes since Misplacement… In the Jungle…

 

Willie Warren and Marcus Williams were doing some wandering around 100 yards inland from the shore. Willie was holding his sides from hunger and Marcus had a very large pair of shorts draped over his right shoulder. They heard a loud echo coming from a couple of bushes over. They peaked around the corner to see a butt-naked Zach Randolph marching in circles around an unusual fruit bearing tree. He was enthusiastically singing to himself…

 

"I’m guarding the tree! I’m guarding the tree! THE TREE LOVES ME! I’m guarding the tree!"

 

Marcus then asked, "Hey Zach what do ya got there?"

 

Zach then darted around into a defensive position, his arms stretched out wide, his shame organs flopping around like a fish out of water. "Stay away!"

 

"Hey Zach?" Willie asked, "Can I have some of that fruit please? I need to getz mine…"

 

"NO!" The infuriated Zach cried. "The tree only feeds me!"

 

Marcus then leaned over, "Hey Zach, where did your clothes go? Just curious. I’m not going to steal them…" He said as he scoffed.

 

"Please Zach! Share, you should!" Willie pleaded.

 

"Why would you love this stupid tree anyway. It’s covered with crazy, orange, green, sloppy fruit. And look, it’s covered with sap!" Marcus said.

 

"There is nothing wrong with a man loving nature! It’s perfectly natural!" Zach replied.

 

Marcus and Willie then realized that sap wasn’t the white, sticky stuff all over the tree. They slowly backed away from the scene as Zach continued to yell at them.

 

"The tree feeds me! And in return I fertilize its roots with my fecal fertilization! NOW BEAT IT!"

 

Zach then resumed his singing. Willie, perhaps delirious from the lack of food, made a shocking/crazy/unprecedented announcement.

 

"I’m going to become a good person. It’s the only way I can get those other guys to help me." Willie said to Marcus. "It’s time for me to do that Carmen thing I saw on that TV show…"

 

"And I’m going to steal that tree." Marcus replied.

 

"Good luck to ya."

 

"Good luck to you too!"

 

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1 Hour 30 Minutes since Misplacement… On the Shore…

 

John Bryant was finding that being a God wasn’t all that difficult. He split up the jobs and his workers were happy to have way to stay busy, even if they weren’t experts at what they were supposed to be doing. Mike Conley, Marko Jaric and Lester Hudson were in charge of getting water. They thought they had the easiest job until they realized that the ocean water only made them more thirsty. They then prepared for a long search for fresh water, but then found a stream about 20 feet from where they originally appeared.

 

Lance Stevenson, Marc Gasol and Hasheem Thabeet were assigned to build shelter. However, they misunderstood the assignment and had a sand castle building contest instead. John Bryant judged Marc the winner, which caused Lance to throw a fit and he ended up pouting near a tree for about 10 minutes.

 

Sam Young and DeMarre Carroll formed their own group. They called themselves Team Hustle and they decided to take charge of the food supply. They managed to chase a giant crab out of the water, but had a hard time killing it.

 

"TRY TO DEFEAT ME YOU PATHETIC FREAKS!" The crab shouted, taunting Team Hustle.

 

Sam Young was trying to restrain the giant talking crab’s claws, so DeMarre Carroll could jump on top and remove its shell but the crab was very strong, and it would not go down easily.

 

"THINK YOU ARE TOUGH, MONSTER IDIOT? OPEN UP ONE OF THOSE FACE-HOLES AND SAY ‘CLICK CLICK CLICK’"

 

For some reason — perhaps island fever — Sam complied. "Uhhh… click. Cli…" The crab reached inside Sam’s mouth and cut off his tongue. "AHHHH!!!"

 

"YES! I HAVE TRICKED YOU, SLIME OF MORTON! I CUT OFF YOUR SPONGE WITH MY MIGHTY CLAW! BWAHAHAHA!!!" The crab continued to laugh at Sam Young until DeMarre Carroll snapped the shell off it’s back. As the crab died it muttered "MY ONLY REGRET, IS KILLING MY HUSBAND…" Then all 21 feet, 740 pounds of the crab fell to the ground in defeat.

 

"Barbecue time!" DeMarre shouted.

 

"Yaaashhh, arrr-ee-huew iiime!!!" The tongueless Sam Young said as blood fell out of his mouth. "We eee-in hab whoo-ayye-ah!"

 

"Team Hustle!" Demarre shouted as he pounded his chest.

 

"Eeem ush-ole!" Sam tried to emulate.

 

Yes, the community was becoming a Memphis Grizzlies-type of success, but per usual, there was an agitator…

 

"I am the real God! I have been all along!" Hamed Haddadi cried in the center of the new community. He had his arms in the air and a poorly-made crown of twigs and leafs on his head. "Worship me! Praise me! Build me statues and catch me crabs!"

 

No Grizzly even turned his head. They had all become enamored with John Bryant, and were happy with their new situation. They were having fun, feeling important and there was a strong bond forming between them.

 

"Fine!" Hamed screamed. "I’ll build my own community! I’ll be better off! You’ll see! I am Island Jesus!"

 

As Hamed walked to his log, Willie Warren appeared from the jungle. A strange hush befell the community, as he approached. Hasheem slyly scooted over to guard his sand castle with his body, afraid that Willie would knock it over. Willie walked over to Mike Conley and held a flower out with his right hand. "For you!" Willie said while trying to smile. An even stranger hush befell the community.

 

"A flower for me?" A perplexed Mike Conley asked.

 

"I’m so nice." Willie explained. "I love you."

 

"He’s lying! He just wants to mooch on our barbecue!" Lester shouted.

 

"Haaa as-err!" Sam tried to yell.

 

"Hold your judgements my friends." John Bryant said calmly. "If Willie wants to be in our community, we should let him."

 

"He can help us build shelter!" Lance hollered.

 

The entire crowd soon swarmed Willie, patting him on the back and congratulating him on his new way of life. Willie blushed, and a tear of joy fell from his eye…

 

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3 Hour since Misplacement… Deep in the Jungle…

 

Ronnie Brewer, Rudy Gay and OJ Mayo were still running into the heart of the jungle. They weren’t sure where the answers they were looking for were, but they refused to stay in one place.

 

"Anybody need a break?" OJ asked.

 

"Naw." Rudy replied.

 

"I’m good." Ronnie added.

 

Despite not being fatigued, the trio suddenly stopped. They trees around them were shaking and they heard a loud growling coming from somewhere close.

 

"What was that sound?" Rudy asked.

 

"I think it came from that." OJ replied.

 

"Came from what?" Rudy asked.

 

"THAT!" OJ shouted.

 

A Tyrannosaurus Rex emerged from the trees, simultaneously roaring and drooling.

 

"Barrel roll!" Ronnie shouted. All three players rolled in different directions just in time to avoid getting slammed by the T-Rex’s tail.

 

OJ pulled himself off the ground. "Ronnie, get up there!" He frantically said as he pointed to the T-Rex’s head. "Rudy, do something about that tail! I’ll keep him distracted!"

 

OJ quickly made himself a target by running into the dinosaur’s line of sight. To further agitate the carnivore, OJ picked up rocks and threw them at it. The T-Rex bent over, getting its head close to the ground. It then lunged at OJ, who used his quick first step to parry the attack. Ronnie used this as an opportunity to jump on the T-Rex’s head. As soon as he landed on the head, he punched it over and over again, but the scales of the T-Rex protected it. OJ was still distracting the T-Rex — bobbing and weaving in a figure-eight through it’s legs. The predator was spinning around in circles trying to follow OJ, but they appeared to be locked in a state of stalemate.

 

Rudy eventually managed to get onto the tail, but he wasn’t sure how he could disarm it. "What do I do about the tail?" Rudy asked.

 

"Forget the tail!" Ronnie shouted back, "Just get up here, I need your wingspan!" Ronnie then slid down to the bridge of the nose and jammed his fist into the eye of the T-Rex. The T-Rex bobbed its head up and down as it screeched in pain. Rudy and Ronnie managed to stay attached despite the bucking dinosaur.

 

OJ used the opportunity to throw a rock into the T-Rex’s mouth. However, the T-Rex was unfazed. "That would have worked on Donkey Kong Country…" OJ said to himself.

 

Rudy climbed the back of the T-Rex and joined Ronnie at the top. "I have an idea." Ronnie explained. "Grab into his left ear hole with your left hand and hold onto me with your right."

 

"Alright, I think I see what you’re trying to do." Rudy said as he stuck his hand into the disgusting left ear of the T-Rex.

 

Ronnie held on to Rudy’s other hand, contorted his body, and reached around the bottom of the neck of the dinosaur. "OJ!!!" He cried out.

 

OJ saw his teammates forming a semi-circle around the T-Rex’s neck, and he knew what they were doing. OJ juked the T-Rex to his right and then ran to his left. He quickly ran up a tree at a 90 degree angle, Matrix style. He reached a stable branch and pulled himself up. He ran and leaped off the branch toward Ronnie Brewer, who had his one free hand out. OJ grabbed Ronnie’s hand, and pulled it with all his forward momentum, which put a great force on Ronnie’s wingspan, which was attached to Rudy’s wingspan, which was attached to the other side of the T-Rex’s neck. The force of OJ’s momentum — combined with the range of Rudy’s and Ronnie’s wingspans — was strong enough to quickly jerk the neck counter-clockwise. Once its neck broke, the dinosaur fell to the ground.

 

All three players picked themselves off the ground. "Is everybody all right?" OJ asked.

 

"I don’t know. Is that thing dead?" Ronnie replied.

 

"Check his pulse." Rudy instructed.

 

"Where?" Ronnie asked.

 

"It doesn’t matter. Those things don’t play possum." OJ explained as he looked at the dead carcass of the T-Rex. "Anybody up for a barbecue?"

 

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Next Week — Chapter 3

 

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Tension builds in the community after the mysterious disappearance of a member.

 

OJ Mayo, Rudy Gay and Ronnie Brewer are put in a situation where they can’t rely on each other’s support.

 

And Hamed Haddadi has a barbecue of his own, using the sticky stuff on the rocks near the ocean and a dead jellyfish he found in the sand.

 

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This week’s episode was brought to you by Hibachi Barbecue Grills. It’s not a barbecue without Hibachi!

 

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Prelude

 

Chapter 1

[Jlv2010]

Thanks for the script. Appreciate it.

[RUDEBOY_Participant]

do you mind repeating that?

[wd40rocksParticipant]

Interesting..

Good Read…

Still needs more butterscotch dressing imo

But still very good.

[goneParticipant]

You should make this a Predator type thing and Demarre Carroll is the predator lol

[McDunkin]

it would be better if Madea or Tyler Perry were in it but i still like it

[butidonthavemoney]

Thanks peeps!

DeMarre Carroll would make a good predator…

I’ll have to keep that in mind and see if I can work something like that into the plot…

[Da1potParticipant]

Demarre Carroll looks like the velociraptors from Peter Jackson’s King Kong…. He would make the perfect predator

[apb540Participant]

U got mad time on your hands haha

[stealsgaloreParticipant]

Haha “Shame organs”, my favorite part.

[Author]

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