[I May Be WrongParticipant]

 It was a rainy Halloween night. Not a child came to knock on the door for candy.  Was the house haunted? Nah. The real terror was who that house belonged to. Many have tried to ask for candy at this house but not had returned alive. All that was left was the bare bones remaining.  “Who was responsible for this”, MikeyV exclaimed! “This is blasphemy! We must put an end to this!”

 The citizens of NBAdraft had enough. They were tired of living in fear on their forum.  MikeyV has enough! He was ready to take this monster head on the only way he could – 95 words a minute and a well thought out research paper on why this monster had to leave this forum.

 He approached the mansion. The wolves were howling and there was a stench of rotten eggs and Old Spice in the air. MikeyV came prepared with his keyboard by his side, a thesaurus, and his pocket protector. He knew he was the only one who could stop such a monster. His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy.  He approached the door and knocked.  “WHOSE THERE!” shouted the monster.  “It is I, MikeyV – the NBAdraft.net MVP.” “Never heard of him before” said the monster.  MikeyV became furious and knocked again. He yelled, “Open your front door the same way your mother did last night monster!”

The floor was shaking. The stomps were getting louder and louder.  The door opened and MikeyV’s jaw dropped.  It was JOHN BRYANT! With the greatest of ease, John Bryant scoped MikeyV’s keyboard and ate it! “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” yelled MikeyV! It was MikeyV’s greatest fear. He was stunned and could not move. John Bryant laughed manically and said you’re coming with me!

 

 John Bryant recorded a video message on  his webcam (which is actually a movie theater projector because that’s the only dimensions that could fit him) and had a message for the NBAdraft forum. “I want $10 billion worth of pizza hut, KFC, and taco bell or you will lose MikeyV forever!”

 Disturbed by the news, the forum needed to assemble together and find a way to get the MVP back. McBased, ButIDontHaveMoney and llperez began recruiting only the finest members. This was a 10 man mission. It was life or death but we all agreed, “John Bryant had what we needed”……

WHAT HAPPENS NEXT??

[aamir543Participant]

(In continuation to I May Be Wrong’s story)

With just 24 hours remaining to pay the 10 million dollars neccesary to save MikeyV, the NBADraftNet comunity was faced with an unheralded dilema.

"How will we save MikeyV?", says No Money.

"Do we have to save him? We have more MVPs than MkeyV you know" smirked McBased

Confused and lost, not a single member at the meeting had moved an inch. (Except Leroy, It was past his bedtime.) With no other option for money, the team had just one hope- to give a sacrifice to John Bryant.

However this option was not publicly announced, but the esteemed members of the forum knew what they had to do and met in Tli123’s basement shortly after the meeting.

"Who should we give as a sacrifice?" asked I May Be Based?

"Must we give a sacrifice?", responed TorontoRaptors10? "All human life is created equal, therefore we should not give away one human for another based soley on poularity and public opinion."

"Why don’t we give John some good homemade Indian food?" quipped Aamir543 "Some Sikh Kababs. chicken Tikka Masala, Samosas, and Nann should be more than enough."

MDymes rolls his eyes and mutters "Kids these days" is disgust.

The forum was not only in grief and sorrow for a loved one, but also a power struggle. With their MVP and smartest user being held captive, ther was not a clear cut leader.The members of the forum seem to be driven by their own selfish motives. Rudeboy was trying to get Leroy to be a sacrifice, McBased was trying to think of a Derrick Favors joke, and LL was trying to confiscate his high school ID cards.

With all of these factors looming over the community, MikeyV’s future looked uncertain

(Can someone please continue on this one, thanks!)

[I May Be WrongParticipant]

John Bryant continued to find ways to torture MikeyV. He would begin playing TV shows that he knew would not come up on Canadian channels. Ohhhh it only got worst from there. Bryant would then get a blank peice of paper and put it in front of Mikey’s face. "HOW DOES IT FEEL MIKEY! You can’t put your precious little words on it anymore!" MikeyV was so distrought. His sentences became incomplete. "Wait until I get my….and… then….barnacles….cheesepuffs". John Bryant knew he had the power. He let out a huge laugh!  

 

Meanwhile, anarchy ruled on the forum. Posts about "Free lap dances from Jersey" to "Lakers must REBUILD" to "FlyntFlossy’s Question of the day" were running rampant! This was not a good time. Then, a brave solider stepped up… SCOTTANT93 

Scooter (as we called him) had devised a plan, along with MagikKnick and MarcusFizer21.  The plan was called "Italian Sausage". John Bryant, who thoroughly enjoys large portions of meat in his mouth, would have been distracted long enough to save MikeyV.  Scooter suggested that comedy and food would be enough to distract John Bryant. So, they gathered 200 lbs of fettuchini alfredo and breadsticks and MagikKnick constructed 100 of his best GIFs. MarcusFizer was just there to be the delivery boy.

After hours of working, all the food and GIFs were complete. The trio went together to the house and yelled, "John Bryant! We comin’ for you sucka!" MarcusFizer took the alfredo and placed it in front of his doorstep. Enticed by the smell, John Bryant came outside with MikeyV in his hand. MagikKnick was getting his GIFs ready but before he could load them all up, John Bryant was done his food! He looked at MagikKnick’s GIFs and ate those too! The trio ran as fast as they could. Luckily for them, they were not donuts so John Bryant did not chase them after. MikeyV was still firmly in the hands of Bryant and the mission was a failure.

The trio tried their best but their best was not best enough…. What was next?

[McDunkin]

Plus I got mentioned

[butidonthavemoney]

Everybody met back in the basement after learning their original plan was a failure. The sense of collective depression was profound. Scooterton was preparing to commit hara-kiri, NoMoney was crying in the corner to himself, and McBased was on the couch repeatedly and passionately adjusting his private areas.

llperez then erupted out of the beanbag chair he was sitting in.

"I’ve got it! We’re just going to need a little bait…" he said slyly while chuckling softly and turning his head to aamir543. The faces on the other posters in the basement became just as sinister, as they became fully enlightened on what exactly llperez was hinting at. Everybody stood and began walking toward aamir with their arms extended, looking like drooling zombies approaching a crippled graduate student. The suddenly nervous Indian’s knees began to wobble, as the apparently manic mob closed in on him.

"Hey guys," he chuckled nervously to the unfazed mob, "I better get going, I’ve got school in the morning."

The unfazed mob continued their close-in until I May Be BASED grabbed aamir’s arms. RUDEBOY approached him from the front and removed his belt, smiling creepily at the boy.

"Noooo!" cried aamir. "NOOOOO–"

*DING-DONG*

"Oh, bloody trick-or-treaters!" llperez cried as the interruption snapped his face back to normal. "Yo OrangeJuiceJones, could you go get that while we get this child ready?"

"Sure." replied OJJ, who grabbed the bowl of candy and skipped up the stairs.

llperez turned back to aamir. "And as for you, my friend…"

OJJ opened the door revealing a muscular 20-something year old man wearing nothing but a tiny pair of boxer-briefs. "Trick-or-treat." said the man.

"Uhhh, who are you supposed to be?" asked OJJ.

"I’m Kurtis Rice." the man replied. "No wait, I think I’m Josh Huestis. Err– actually, I’m JNixon-Iggy9. Or maybe not."

"Well who the hell are you?!" OJJ asked again angrily.

The man stood in the doorway, silent for a split-second before ripping the bowl of candy from OJJ and taking off down the street, running and giggling simultaneously. "Get back here!" shouted OJJ as he ran off after him.

Down in the basement, aamir and LeroyJenkins were each hog-tied and lying on the ground. They were dressed in boy-scout uniforms with apples stuffed into their mouths.

"This plan is fool-proof." llperez said aloud…

[aamir543Participant]

Um, I am actually a high school sophmore, but I’m honored that you’d think I was a graduate student.

llPerez was stting in his chair, with thinking about what to do next. But he suddenly heard loud noises from the basement, and went down to check to see what all the ruckus was, and there he sees Leroy sucking on his thumb- but Aamir543 has the apples out of his mouth, hands still behind his back, except he has a phone, and the second he sees Leroy, he says,

"I have your ID Cards, and if you make one more step, I’m gonna send them to everyojne, and they’ll all know the truth about what really happened in 2004."

LL has a look of disbelief on his face, and says,

"Noooooooooooooooooooooo!!! Please! I’ll do anything!"

"Ok", says Aamir,"Let me go, and get replace me with Proud Grandpa, he gives me the creepers"

"Deal", says LL with a sigh of relief.

Their next step was to go the senior citizens home, to get Proud Gramps, and get him to save MikeyV. He was the perfect bait to execute the plan.

At the old people’s home though, they ran into a familiar foe- Dale Worthington.

 

 

 

[ProudGrandpaParticipant]

When llperez, aamir, yupyup P.I., and Sheltwon ("the Enforcer") arrived at the nursing home, they were greeted by an incredibly tall and awkward teenager who introduced himself as Josh.  He said his mom made him work at the nursing home on Halloween to get his NHS community service hours.  After using the word "swag" a few too many times, yupyup exclaimed, "It’s Dale Worthington!"Indeed, they had found him.

Josh/Dale stammered, out of his usual online comfort zone.  After Sheltwon’s aggressive persuasion, Josh/Dale said that his mom had grounded him from the internet for looking at dirty pichers.  llperez and the gang agreed to keep his secret safe if he led them to Proud Grandpa…

They opened the door to room 232.  A crazed old man is standing on top of the bed wearing a Bob Pettit jersey, space-agey shades, and a Depends.  Sheltwon grabs him and throws him into the Givony-mobile outside the home.  Taylor Condrin drives them all back to tli’s house, where they begin Plan B…

[McDunkin]

LLPerez went from looking like ahmad rashad in 9th grade to ater majok his senior year.

[ProudGrandpaParticipant]

NoMoney would be the MVP, but he made the ballot and didn’t include himself.  MikeyV is #2 

[I May Be WrongParticipant]

 much like ProudGrandpa in 3 years ago, this thread is now on LIFE SUPPORT! It’s time to pull the plug

… So a brave leader, McBased, decided GIFs and food would not be enough. It would take something deadly. Something extreme. Something that was powerful enough to stop John Bryant’s carnage. Something…. BASED

 

 

So using the power of #SWAG, #SWAGSWAG and #SWOOP! John Bryant tried to cook. But he failed miserably and ate himself.

MikeyV was released from the grasps on John Bryant and looked at McBased with relief. "Thank you based God!" yelled MikeyV! All was back to normal and the forum was back to its rightful place.

THE END.

[mikeyvthedonParticipant]

 ProudGrandpa almost had a heart attack (again), when he saw his arch-nemesis at the old folks home.

"Worthington! I swore I got you with that bottle of poisoned prune juice", ProudGrandpa said with a look of pure desperation.

"I would never fall for your weak foolish shenanigans, Gramps. As a matter of fact, I finally had my great nephew, Jedebiah, explain to me how to use the telephone machine. I called in a sorcerer of tremendous magnitude who was immensely interested in your whereabouts."

Suddenly, DNYCE popped out from behind a barcalounger. He was wearing a homemade Lakers jersey he had made out of a Hefty bag and some old "Oh Henry" bars. It proudly had the #12 on both sides with "Howard" as the last name.

"PROUDGRANDPA, you are the only one who has kept Andrew Bynum in Los Angeles for this long. I cannot believe you have been giving out information to other edomites, you Illuminati pawn! You are the reason everything is F-ucked up on this planet! You are the one who gave that America hating Russian his team, what next, A SUPERSTAR? Well, Edomite, your day or reckoning is here!"

With that, DNYCE’s eyes rolled into the back of his skull while he quoted Isaiah 13:9-22 in almost demonic sounding tone. ProudGrandpa sensed the outcome would be horrific. Knowing he was possibly meeting his doom, he reached for the only weapon he could think of when faced with DNYCE.

He tried to find his Topps Andrew Bynum Rookie card. The cards power was truly had a kryptonite effect on DNYCE when shown in his direct vision. Frantically looking for the card, he than remembered that his grandchildren had left dog $hit in his pocket and had stolen the card to by candy. The smell had not bothered him, as his odor was normally worse, but he now had no weapon to fight off this foe hell bent on revenge.

As DNYCE finished his scripture reading, the old folks home started to shake. Something crashed through the building and gave a tremendous roar. As the structure started to fall around them, with everyone running for cover, Dale Worthington grabbed ProudGrandpa’s walker and drove away on his Lark at a whopping 7.5 miles per hour. ProudGrandpa was frozen with terror, until DNYCE through a basketball right at his solar plexus, forcing him backwards into a conveniently placed toilet. The figure, descended upon him as ProudGrandpa said his last words, which, as he has nothing interesting to say of his own, were a condensed version of DNYCE’s previous chant.

Finally, the creature descended on the fateful internet troll, known to his family as Gennaro:

 

So, he’s dead.

Also, bne4lyf is his oldest grand son, who luckily, along with all of ProudGrandpa’s other bloodline relatives, moved to Antartica. Happy ending!

 

[aamir543Participant]

Honestly, most of our storys were pretty weird, but No Money’s was by far the best, continue off your original idea, where Leroy and I are tied in the basement with apples in our mouths.

[McDunkin]

MikeyV fears BASED

[Jlv2011]

Mikey.

[HaleParticipant]

 Would’ve been some much better had MikeyV not posted for a few days after this came out. Still loved the originality behind this though.

Edit: Great Booker T shoutout too.

[mikeyvthedonParticipant]

yupyup, I thought we were friends :(. You really wanted me to get kidnapped by John Bryant without being able to write? Much less, WITH NO INTERNET! Good day to you sir!

PS: How awesome is our fantasy football league? It has been super competitive!

[HaleParticipant]

I’ve had my worst year ever, but considering my team is awful 4-4 isn’t too bad, especially since I’m only one game back.

[Author]

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