[OrangeJuiceJonesParticipant]

 November 9th, 2011

After rejecting commissioner David Stern’s offer with a instantaneous unified Mutombo finger wave, Derek Fisher and the players’ association met with the owners for more talks at 1 P.M today. As talks are still ongoing, I am unable to give you a recap of today’s events. However, I am able to provide many important highlights:

• So far, the two sides have talked about absolutely nothing. Any words that even begin with the letter B have been met with great disdain and the "You just ate a$$ face."
• After three hours of utter silence, the two sides went into separate rooms to order food from separate restaurants. More importantly, Celtics forward Kevin Garnett got up and stretched several times during the silence. He refuses to stay quiet and let the owners have their way.
• Shortly after the food arrived, Wizards forward and players association vice president Maurice Evans got into a heated argument with commissioner David Stern. Apparently, David Stern reached over to Evans’s plate and took a waffle fry without asking beforehand. While Evans was applying baby powder to his hands to backhand David Stern pimp-style, Hornets point guard Chris Paul walked over and sent the two to separate corners.
• Billy Hunter was seen leaving the meeting early with three young women of different ethnic backgrounds and a huge smile on his face.
• Carmelo Anthony and LeBron James have spent the majority of the meeting in a room together with two large bowls of Cinnamon Toast Crunch and classic episodes of "A Different World." LeBron hastily walked out when he learned that the DVD to which all the episodes were burned had elapsed to 25% of its original length.
• Brian Scalabrine engaged in a 3-minute conference call with both sides. He let them know that he’s doing well and that he broke his sit-up record of 17.

More to come soon……

[M-DYMESParticipant]

LOL OJJ…iconic post.

"LeBron hastily walked out when he learned that the DVD to which all the episodes were burned had elapsed to 25% of its original length."  I found that most excellent. 

Only to be topped by….

"Brian Scalabrine engaged in a 3-minute conference call with both sides. He let them know that he’s doing well and that he broke his sit-up record of 17."

[boffacheeriosParticipant]

Nice work OJJ. I needed something like this to keep me from going insane. This strategy of having "Important meetings" seemingly every day is driving me crazy.

[OrangeJuiceJonesParticipant]

 Thanks. You had no idea what I had to do to sneak into this meeting. Invisibility cloaks are not cheap. I’m never gonna own a car now.

[raybeasParticipant]

free pass to the North Dakota U cheerleaders locker room for your invisibility cloak!

[MuggsyParticipant]

Your post just made waking up at 5:00am worth it.

[marcusfizer21Participant]

 that was freakin hilarious… I was begging for more… lol

[butidonthavemoney]

 This is both practical AND delicious, like drainer fluid.

Well done, sir. Well done.

[aamir543Participant]

You had no idea what I had to do to sneak into this meeting. Invisibility cloaks are not cheap.

I’ll trade my free pass to the North Dakota U cheerleaders locker room for your invisibility cloak!

What about shring the invisibility cloak while in the North Dakota U cheerleaders lockeroom?

[Scottoant93Participant]

How about free copies of Mcdunkin new book Thug Life:Gifs,Swag, and Books I heard it will include a Derrick Favors joke….. for that invisibility cloak

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