Exclusive Interview with Luke Babbitt and his New Agent, cyclo

NoMoney Times was granted an exclusive interview with Portland Trailblazer rookie Luke Babbitt and his agent, cyclo. We discussed various subjects but the focus of the interview was on Babbitt’s upcoming rap album entited, "Self Discovery". The transcript is below.

NoMoney – Hey Luke, first off all I would like to thank you and your new agent for joining me.

Luke – Yeah, sure no problem.

cyclo – It’s great to be here in this space station.

NoMoney – It’s actually just a studio.

cyclo – No it isn’t! I have the blueprints to prove it!

NoMoney – Ehhh, OK… Moving on… So, Luke. Why hire this new agent of yours?

Luke – Well, at first I didn’t know who he was, but then I started seeing him everywhere. If I was drinking coffee, or taking a bath, or walking my dog, I would always see this kid. So I told him to back off or else I would call the police. Then he told me about how amazing and athletic I was. He said I was way better than Cole Aldrich and Channing Frye, then he said that I was a more athletic Dirk Nowitzki. Then it was like, hey, this kid is really smart. So I asked him to be my agent.

NoMoney – Was it his idea for you to release a rap album?

Luke – No, I’ve had the idea since the combine. I was jumping, and then it hit me. If I could jump like a black person, then I could probably rap like one too.

NoMoney – How blatantly racist. Your song, "I Got High at the Combine", has become quite the club banger. How do you feel about all your recent sucess?

Luke – I like to party. So I thought I would have my first release be something that people could relax and bump to.

NoMoney – Then you decided to kick it up a notch with your Gordon Hayward diss, "Prepubescent"?

Luke – Man, don’t get me started on that punk. Dude got picked before me and he hasn’t even hit puberty? I put him in his place. Sometimes you have to show people that you can rap real hard. Know what I’m saying?

cyclo – Gordon Hayward is a bust. I can prove it using the combine results.

NoMoney – That won’t be necessary. Now Luke, I’d like to thank you for your time.

Luke – Before I go, I’d like to give you a taste of my talent.

NoMoney – I think we should keep this relationship professional…

Luke – Nah, I mean, let me freestyle right quick.

NoMoney – By all means.

Luke – Alright. cyclo, give me an annoying, repetitive beat.

cyclo – It’s what I do baby. *Starts beatboxing*

Luke – Uhhh…. Uhhh…. Turn me up yo…. Uhhh…. cyclo beats… cyclo beats… cyclo beats… Uhhh… Check it…

Yo, I fly like a bird.
Parrot by my side.
Combine is the word.
I’m athletic, did ya heard?

My shot is sweet
Like this cyclo beat
And I’m athletic as hell
Contradictory to, Haywarrrrd…

cyclo is like my shadow
He follows me around
He’s smelly and he’s ugly
But for me he’s always down

If I get hungry, then he’ll feed me
When my back itches, he’s there
He’ll hold me when I’m frightened
That’s how I know he’ll always care…

NoMoney – I guess that’s as good a place as any to end this intervi–

Luke – cyclo knows his stuff even though he don’t make sense
Believe me when I say that he knows ALL my measurements

NoMoney – SHUTUP!!! "Self Discovery" will be available everywhere on September 28th, 2010…