Another Blow for the Timberwolves…

“Moaning Wolves
Reporting: butidonthavemoney

The Minnesota Timberwolves suffered another huge setback, when NBA commisssioner David Stern, announced that the T’Wolves would be forfeiting all six of their picks in this year’s NBA draft. This announcement came just days after Ricky Rubio’s basketball career was tragically ended, due to a freak-accident involving an unidentified farm animal and an electronic scooter.

Allegedly, the reasoning behind Stern’s decision was that Timberwolves general manager David Kahn, had cheated at a game of Connect Four. Connect Four is a popular two-player game, in which each player tries to line up four checkers in a row in a vertical grid. David Stern is an avid player, taking part in various tournaments around the world. He was challenged to what was suppossed to be a friendly game by Kahn.

“He cheated. I know he cheated. Nobody beats me. I don’t have to say anything else, because he cheated.” Stern said in his press conference. “The NBA punishes cheaters. This is not unusual. I’m trying to run a legitimate league here!”

“I can’t believe this!” Kahn said via phone this morning. “I was trying to suck-up! I was going to let him win! I won by accident, I’m not even sure how it happened! I am not trying to get on his bad side!”

This isn’t the first time Minnesota has had to forfeit it’s draft picks due to allegations of cheating. In 2000, then Minnesota GM Kevin McHale, attempted to sign free-agent Joe Smith to a one year contract so they would own his Larry Bird rights and be able to sign him long-term in the future. Minnesota lost five first-round draft picks and was fined $3.5 million. The entire ordeal landed T’Wolves majority owner Glen Taylor and Kevin McHale in hot water. The scandal cost Minnesota their chance to stay relavent, as even with superstar Kevin Garnett they eventually sank to the bottom of the league’s ranks. They traded away Garnett, threw in the towel and began rebuilding.

It would appear as though Minnesota’s development for the future has hit another brick wall. In the past week they have lost prized point guard Ricky Rubio and six draft picks for the 2010 NBA draft.

When asked what the NBA plans to do with Minnesota’s draft picks, David Stern said the following, “We will divide up the picks as evenly as possible. We’ll give one to the Lakers, one to LeBron, and the rest to the Lakers.”

The same reporter then asked how exactly David Kahn cheated, to which Stern replied, “This press conference is over!” and left promptly.

The tough-lucked Minnesota Timberwolves still have hope for the future. Jonny Flynn, Al Jefferson and Kevin Love all have some talent. It’s like the old proverb, “Smooth seas do not make skillful sailors.” Right now, the Timberwolves are in a hurricane.

Next Week: Kevin Love to be suspended long-term for hanging on rim during Rookie/Sophomore challenge?”