Panagiotis-Cristofoulos Papanikolaopolussulakos (nicknamed Panagiotis-Magic-Air-Cristofoulos Papanikolaopolussulakos in his village) is an incredibly gifted basketball player from Greece. According to his father, "The first time I gave Panagiotis-Cristofoulos a basketball – he was 2 years old – he started making deadly crossovers and behind the back highlight passes. It was amazing". Panagiotis-Cristofoulos' mother confirms: "He was so talented that he soon started to beat me one-on-one. I'm a disabled, 75-year-old women, but still. Could you now wheel me to the bathroom please?"
Panagiotis-Cristofoulos is now 5. He's dominating is age group unlike any Greek player before him (including Kostas Kaimakoglu and Nikos Zisis). His coach, the legendary Vassilis Spongiakanis, believes he could easily hold his own against boys 1 or even 2 years older, provided they have never played basketball before or have a broken leg, or both. According to him, Panagiotis-Cristofoulos Papanikolaopolussulakos is already an elite shooter. So far this season, Panagiotis-Cristofoulos Papanikolaopolussulakos is shooting 72% from deep. Although some argue that this is no big deal, since in Greece the 3-point line is only 1,32m from the basket, which itself hangs 0,78m above the ground, 72% is unheard of.
In this video (youtube_Panagiotis-Cristofoulos Papanikolaopolussulakos_layup), you can see Panagiotis-Cristofoulos Papanikolaopolussulakos dribbling with his left hand (he's right-handed!) before nearly making a layup. I actually saw him make a couple of layups, but unfortunately my camera's battery was dead (actually, my American camera stopped working after I put Greek batteries in it), so you'll have to take my word for it.
Incredibly, Panagiotis-Cristofoulos Papanikolaopolussulakos doesn't appear in ANY mock draft. I mean, the guy recently dominated players like Anselmodoulos Varmandilis and Herodoto Pankalamfous (young prodigies themselves, but that will be the subject of my next post), but for some reason he's given no love here in America. Panagiotis-Cristofoulos Papanikolaopolussulakos' disconsolate father told me: "I went through all available mock drafts (Nbadraft, Draftexpress, Espn, Penthouse, etc.); I couldn't' find the name of my son. You know, I thought racism was I thing of the past in America, but I was mistaken. Racism is alive and well, at least in the NBA."
To overcome all the hate directed towards the Greek people, Panagiotis-Cristofoulos Papanikolaopolussulakos is trying to be naturalized American. For the poor (still incredibly gifted) thing, the experience is harrowing. Just imagine what a Polish jew would have felt, 70 years ago, if he had he been forced to become German just to be allowed to eat sauerkraut... That's more or less the situation Panagiotis-Cristofoulos Papanikolaopolussulakos is in today. Panagiotis-Cristofoulos Papanikolaopolussulakos has already chosen his new American name: PC Papanick. Man, isn't that a ridiculous name? Is there a limit to the humiliations Greek basketball stars must endure to live their passion?
Anyway, I don't know why I'm telling you this: you are all racist. You hate Greek people regardless of the color of their skin, you hate Greece's magnificent history, you hate souvlaki, and, above all, you hate to acknowledge that the Greek Basketball League is the best in the world.
I hate you, you stupid, racist, ignorant vermin.
Tomorrow, I'll tell you more about Anselmodoulos Varmandilis and Herodoto Pankalamfous, as promised.
What a name D:
If you think the Greek league is the best in the world, then why are you always whining about Greek players not getting drafted?
I'm happy I managed to sound exactly like him! (Did you note the Greek accent?)
Now that's a name I'd like to see on a jersey - Papanikolaopolussulakos.
Why is he not on the 2027 mock draft? This is a disgrace!
Awesome post man. Kudos on the names.
I was going to do the exact same thing last night hahaha this is.excellent
I'm dying hahahaha this is incredible. +1 +1 +1 +1 +1
Haha your cameras racist!
The FUNNIEST s---- I've ever read on here...! I'll be waiting for Anselmodoulos Varmandilis and Herodoto Pankalamfous tmw!!! Don't forget!
"I hate you, you stupid, racist, ignorant vermin" hahaha