McDunkin Management Agency
The one pocket was Davids idea. He said some guy named Ricky told him that he would come play for his team if he seriously did that. We are now in the shipping stages and we have yet to recieve a reply from this "Ricky" character except for one short conversation with Jersey the receptionist.
Jersey: Hello Mr. Rubio this is a call on the behalf of Mr. Kahn telling you that the jeans have been produced with one pocket like you asked.
Ricky: Really?...are you serious?
Jersey: Yes sir im afraid i am
Jersey: Mr. Kahn would like to know when you would like him to come out to Spain and have another meeting with you
Ricky: .........[several buttons are pushed].....[a loud click is heard]..........
That reminds me..... Could you please tell Jersey to stop leaving her blackberry pin number on my sales reports? If she keeps doing it, then I'll just file and copy them myself.
Sounds like sexual harassment in the workplace aka too much paper work. Just close your eyes and man up...MikeyV wont even mind...trust me...nomoney told me
Because I am moving on to a certain sister, of a certain Jazz player recently drafted out of Butler. But, don't worry McJealous, you could maybe catch McSloppyseconds.
Mikeyv........ No. Not her. You can't have her.
This means war. I hope you have your resume updated....
Dear MMA Employees,
For those of you asking what happened to MikeyV at MMA he decided to leave the company...yes it was under his own will.
So for those of you that THOUGHT you saw him being chased around the hallways by Taylor Condrin and the rest of MMA security while screaming "Dont Tase me bro!" were all seeing things due to the exposure to asbestos you all have been experiencing.
I would also like to apologize for not bringing said exposure up in the last company letter. I thought when i took that month long vacation that you all would take it as a sign to leave the building because your lives are in danger, but hey, this is why i love you guys. Because of your hardwork, effort, and your cockroach like ability to stay healthy in these type of work conditions.
As a gift we will be using Mikeyvs old office to watch Lion King 2 on VHS..i would let you guys use the flatscreen and dvd player in my office, but Mr.JNixon messed that up for everybody by getting popcorn on the persian rug Hamed Haddadi got me.
So.... I was doing the monthly income statement, and I noticed that you spent $3,000 on "office equipment," but only $700 on electricity for the entire building. By the way, I had to do it by hand because.... you know.... we had to preserve electricity. What did you buy?
Wow..look at Sherlock OJJ with his detective hat on.
Look im trying to go green in these offices and...thats all Wizkid has advised me to say
and as far as that petty $3,000 that was spent.Well i was looking into a company car...for myself..and on ebay i saw that briefcase from Pulp Fiction up for sell and the seller said it contained what everyone guessed it did...Anthony Randolphs potential..but of course they lied and it was just Kwame Browns.
Its been a little over a year since we opened our doors here at MMA. There have been good and bad times but through it all I survived...and had to fire a $h^t load of lose...valued workers. I hope the next year is as great as the first
As a reward to my workers/friends i have once again renivated the offices to maximize your comfort...This came out of everyones holiday bonuses..
The new meeting office
I cant forget the nameless workers i try not to see every day on the way to the elevator...see those fancy new vests
OJJS new office
...yeah right you junkie
And something simple for me of course
I know I am not supposed to bring this up until the end of November but I would like an early advance on my raise as well as a spare key to the corporate car. I have apperciated all the swag you have shared with me and its because of you I've tripled my Facebook like page from 3 to 9! Until this issue is resolved, me and my rap lines are on #Swaglockout.
and will probably will only be doing this
Thank you for your understanding
I MAY BE BASED
My BASED brother here is what I can do for you
The keys to the company van(that after the weird paint job he gave it) I will never let tli borrow again
and that raise......
I know it's been a while since I've really contributed anything of significance to this company, but I'm coming back with a vengeance. Ladies..... Gentlemen.... Children.... And ESPECIALLY members of the ASPCA..... It is my pleasure to introduce M.C D.J Lil' Poopy Pants!!!
I would like to apply. I am really persuasive and I have good people skills. I am gonna be your top employee right off the bat. Why don't we start duscussing salaries?
When salaries is the first thing you want to talk about...I doubt you would really fit in here.
Well, I could still be your embassebor to India, you won't regret it..............
McBased, I'm happy I found this I'm looking for work and as you know I'm multi-talented, what do I have to do to get your representation
What I got from Universal
I understand it correctly, you are the players' agent? If yes, how much do your services cost? I do not know much English, sorry.
$500.00 USD up front for the first month (15.00 an hour after) and after you get a contract we will receive 48% of it and 30% of endorsements you get through us.
Damn mcdunkin thats just cold. Haha taking advantage of unspecting people
Ask eric devendorf what our representation can do for a career.
Probably will sound loud, I want to play basketball in the NBA. Makings have the potential too. Question: where to come, where the sign, which will show my basketballskills, and most important question - is there any chance if I do not play in a professional team (not counting the fact that playing in the school team and we won the city tournament)) In analyzing my game and play professional teams of people from my country, I came to the conclusion that I have not as bad as it sounds. I look forward to your reply
I will sign over all of Nikoloz "Skita" Tskitishvili's male modeling endorsement rights if you can just take him off my hands and file his D-League paperwork as he's tryna to make another NBA comeback. Once he heard your agency was based out of Georgia he immediatly tried driving to your location. After I notified him that it's the State of Georgia in America and not his home country the Republic of Georgia he did a line a tried attacking me with a basketball in a scene straight out of Basketball Diaries. Plus ever since I noticed a basketball pump sticking out his arm I've wanted out.
If you take him I'll throw in Lenny Cooke and Qyntel Woode's Filipino contract's also.
You got yourself a deal as long as you're willing to take Pavel Podkolzin
Deal as long as you can provide him transportation cuz I can't drive him to the airport in my Honda he won't fit and I heard he's a big Lady Gaga fan an absolutely has to listen to her before flights and Dre don't make headphones in his size.
Ill just take the costs out of McSerbians paycheck
@Alexey On forces?
Do I understand correctly? You give me your services if I prevail against Pavel Podkolzin? If so, then I can do it again as if it did not sound loud!
MMA is the official sponsor for the McDonalds Fish Filet sammich!!!
Whoa McBetrayal, you take a random guy that might just rob you guys of the little things you have, instead of me?
I could be you're financial advisor, you'll save at least 46% more money a month, I garuntee it.
What is this penny-pinching shtick that you have pulled out of nowhere the past few months? You're Indian, not Jewish...
^Pulled out of nowhere? It's in my blood, I can't help it.
Is this really happening? This is hilarious!
Alexey, I fully support McBased Management Agency, you sir, are you great hands. He will take you to the top. No, he'll take you higher than the top -- Kobe-System.
I'll post your video, it will show a separate gaming skills: throwing, dribbling,athleticism. Unfortunately I have no way to show it in the game with rivals my level in 16 years I played in college and had an iron player base (although they played uncleto 23-27 years). I really want to draw attention to themselves. By any means.
@Amir as long as you have your own computer/desk/office supplies/health insurance and are willing to work for Taco Bell you can have a job in accountng
@Alexey I will take you to the top of the highest mountains. With MMA on your team there is no losing #'72 Dolphins. I will not rest until I have you holding a Coke, wearing your own shoe, playing a Sega game featuring you, while singing your own song in a new commercial, starring you, broadcast during the playoffs, in a game that you are winning, and I will not sleep until that happens.
By the way you are going to need a translator...buy one of those before you get here
What can I do?
My top skills are "dashing", "chiseled", "Bell Biv DeVoe" and "ruling the forum with an iron fist".
Please and thank you!
well since everyone is applying how about me?
I be getting that mozzarella haha
Let's start a band. After a gold record or two, McManager will be licking our shoes to sign us.
Im in, have any ideas for a name? we gonna make it BIG!
Sin Dinero y La Otra Persona
We'll become a Spanish boy band and set the world on fire.
We'll dress and dance in raggedy clothes, like we're poor but tough and dignified. Young rich girls will find us super-dreamy, so we'll sing songs about how adults suck and are always trying to tell us what to do (à la early 2000s-punk music). But we live by the code of the street. American girls will love us too, because Spanish is easily the most romantic language in the world.
What's the best Spanish-speaking country you can think of? Columbia, maybe? That's where we'll begin our careers.
Columbia then move on to Hondurus and so one work our way up. That way we build our street cred I already up some good song titles for some demos
1.No soy un robot
2.usted no puede decirle que hacer
3.MI No speak English
4. Mcdunkin gato nuestra Swag
5.tiene algun cambio
6. Padre no Comprende
7. Quiero tu Amor
8. Triste en el Parque
9. Fiesta Sin Dinero
10. Caballo en mis Pantalones
11. ha despojado a lebrons cuarto trimestre
12. hacer el taco
13.cruzar la frontera
14.prisa prisa a la polica esta aqui
15.blanco del diablo
This started out as a joke, but it's officially real now. Especially the one about McMuchacho's swag cat...
I'll try to finish my rough drafts of "Triste en el Parque" and "Fiesta Sin Dinero" by tomorrow...
lol alright im gonna be working on the cover art of our cd.... i'll se if i can get it done by tom.
How about this guys I will offer you a employee/talent deal
You can work for me..and do your banditos...see what I did there?
Scott you will be in charge of our artist representation department since you have such skills in it.
Nopesos with such a versatile resume I have no idea what job would fit you best here at MMA, but hey here are the positions open
Lunch picker upper
The Modeling derpartment...I make the awful mistake of giving Rudeboy this job and for some reason over 78% of our models get pregnant within their first few weeks and like clokwork Rudeboy always asks for 9 months of for vacation time.
assistant to the janitor DNYCE
Gordan Haywards sisters personal shopper
High School athlete money depositer