tli232 - Doucheology

I know that a lot of you are jealous of tli232 and his Ivy-League school education. Because of this education, tli232 can do many things us low-lifes cannot. He can make bold and italicized letters, he can use bullets to make lists, and he is a moderator on NBADraft.net. As we all know, tli232's major in his Ivy-League school was in Doucheology. Now, I only go to community college but I took all the Doucheology classes that my school offered. What I've learned is rather disturbing, but it does explain a lot...

Intro to Doucheology 101 (Research provided by Wikipedia and Clackamas Community College)...

After studying the origins of Doucheology I began to think that tli232 may not just be an ordinary student of Doucheology, but a big piece in the scientific study that IS Doucheology. tli232 is a douche, he might even be the biggest douche ever. I set out to see where this theory would take me, and the results were not disappointing...

tli232 may have become a douche due to inbreeding or an unusual, experimental, and ultimately ineffective form of birth control. Scientists often debate on the origins of his "Doucheness", but it is universally agreed that he was born with a enormous amount of "Initial Doucheness". Whatever his origins may be, it's clear that they have created what scientists from around the world have agreed to accept as the ultimate “Douchebag” and the DNA proves that he has been a big douche since birth.

During breeding and forming of type “A normal” the chromosomes form together creating an average human being with the D.N.A. The main role of DNA molecules is the long-term storage of information. DNA is often compared to a set of blueprints, or a recipe, or a code, since it contains the instructions needed to construct other components of cells, such as proteins and RNA molecules. The DNA segments that carry this genetic information are called genes, but other DNA sequences have structural purposes, or are involved in regulating the use of this genetic information. In our research we have found that the D.N.A of tli232 has been skewed. The X & Y chromosomes that we see in normal male and females does not appear in the tli232 D.N.A. Instead a new chromosome has taken place that scientists have come to agree in calling this the “D+” chromosome. Thus being the root of the problem that researchers now believe is the failure of tli232's genetic code.

tli232's condition cannot be called a mental retardation -- though he is granted the liberty of handicap parking spaces -- because his IQ is too high. All of the greatest douches in history have been considered intelligent compared to the average "normal" non-douche human being. However, tli232 does show certain symptoms that lead some to question his state of mental-stability, such as the longing to eat rocks and other objects on the ground and a fascination with bold or shiny symbols. tli232 also shares a similar profile to a serial killer, in that he was a bed-wetter until his early 20's and he has a fetish for sexual humiliation.

In the research of the “D+” syndrome, Russian scientist Igor Jenakowski who was spearheading the research team realized the destructive potential in the “D+” chromosome that was buried inside tli232. Hundreds of grueling hours finding the resources, manpower, and information have led him to his suicide. His wife fortunately gave detectives his personal journal that he would write in during his leisure. His last entry dated 06/06/06 was written in code, that was later transcribed by the Harvard Symbology and foreign code team had said “this cancerous disease in society has to be stopped. In my study the human gene pool has come to what I cannot handle. I therefore will take my own life and shoot my [gosh darn] head off. It is an embarrassing plight on humankind. Please stop this, and the ginger syndrome.”

These disturbing findings bring up many questions. Why would tli232 attend an Ivy-league school, after an Ivy-league school was secretly researching him? Coincidence? Why didn't anybody act on Igor Jenakowski's warnings? How could tli232 organize his mass-kidnapping and torture of so many NBADraft.net members without anybody noticing? I'm beginning to think that one of following two possibilities has occurred...

1. The death of Igor Jenakowski, was the death of the research of the “D+” syndrome and the shadow-study of tli232.

2. The “D+” syndrome is spreading through other means than genetic mutation, and tli232 is no longer the biggest concern.

The second possibility is frightening because it must mean that scientists know about this and cannot stop it regardless. All we can do now is increase awareness, the following is a list of classic symptoms of the “D+” syndrome...

Driving around with a dirt bike in the back of his truck to look cool

Riding a loud Harley motorcycle through a quiet town

Making posing documentary videos on his camera

Showing everyone in sight pictures of his make believe girlfriend

Wearing Superman apparel to college parties, while being in his 20’s

Being a constant 1-upper

Boasting about his parent's wealth, and their 25 foot bayliner

Boasting about a higher education without getting specific

Throwing parties on his 21st birthday that no one shows up to

Telling girls that people call him “Tee-El-Eye Double-Triple-Double” at work

Bullying new members who introduce themselves in the main forum

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Sources - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roberts, Professor K. West