"Salt Lake City is abuzz with the heavily-rumored information that the Utah Jazz have already decided to draft Wesley Johnson out of Syracuse with their first round pick in the 2010 NBA draft. Kevin O'Connor left a short response addressing these rumors this morning.
"Well, I can't really confirm or deny anything, really. I mean it would be ridiculous to announce who we are planning to draft this early. We don't even know where our draft pick will be." said the longtime general manager of the Utah Jazz. "I will say this though; I would love to pair him up in the backcourt with Deron Williams. I mean, an all-turtle backcourt has always been my dream!"
When asked what he meant by this, O'Connor began panting and hung up the phone almost instantly. Speculation in Utah is running wild.
Kevin O'Connor undeniably has a "thing" for turtles. His massive turtle farm demands the majority of his attention when he isn't working. He owns an estimated 450 turtles of around 65 different species. Sources close to O'Connor say that some days he spends up to eight hours just feeding and playing with his turtles. The infamous "O'Connor Sex Tape" of 2007 showed that he has a sexual fetish for turtles and/or turtle-dressed women. But perhaps the most telling factor is who he drafted in 2005...
Deron Williams is a top 3 point guard in the NBA. Depending on who you ask, he may even be number one. Nobody doubts O'Connor's drafting ability now, but in 2005 that was a different story. Jerry Sloan's preference was to draft Chris Paul, whom he felt would be the second coming of John Stockton. O'Connor, however, was adamant about drafting Deron Williams.
"I thought he just wanted Deron because he looked like a turtle." Sloan said following Deron Williams breakout performance in the 2007 NBA playoffs. "I don't know, maybe he just got lucky. I'm telling you, that son-of-a-[lady dog] loves turtles!"
More on this story as it develops. Sources at butidonthavemoney will keep you posted.
hahahahaahahhahaha. You're a great writer and storyteller. Keep at it.
Man I gotta read more of your stuff. I read that Eddy Curry piece a few weeks ago and now this LOL!
your too much man.................lol
I believed the story for a moment.
But man, the world needs more writers like you, put a spin on a sports story
Let's not forget, Floyd (color of) "Money" Mayweather is actually a Ninja Turtle!
Oh wait, is he green, or just yellow???
Floyd Mayweather would make a great turtle!
To everybody else, thanks for the support!!!
oh man... you crack me up... LOL... Deron Williams is a turtle? now that's intriguing...LOL
Floyd does look like one of em ninja turtles..LOL
No way Wes Johson goes to the Jazz. We may have the knicks pick, but we are not going to get into the top 3 picks. (the knicks are not that bad) I would kill to have him, but lets face reality, there is 2% chance we get him. Go for someone like Aldrich or Patrick Patterson.
Don't forget about Ray Allen! He looks like Donatello lol.