This is a welcome topic for all new users. I'd like to get into a few pointers to prepare you for the awesomeness.
1) POINTS SYSTEM: As of 5/12/10, I am no longer trying to get over 9,000 in points; I'll be happy with 2,345 or 3,456. People often complain about having points taken away. I always thought that the site would be better if we just eliminated the option of giving people a thumbs down. IMO, there wouldn't be as much whining and moaning about points. In the meantime, be aware that people are going to take points away from you for the following reasons:
Being totally and completely biased;
Offending someone (the worst part about that is -- most of the time -- they won't even let you know that you offended them);
Stating that you want something good to happen to your favorite team;
Making a prediction;
Cursing (which is rendered pointless by the site's censorship);
Calling out another user;
Complaining about points;
Telling people something about yourself;
Having a certain player as your avatar;
Posting something not directly related to the topic;
Posting something that someone -- usually a younger someone -- doesn't agree with;
Or just posting in general.
2) Quincey Hodges, A.K.A Stanford hoops, will make a point and defend it until the end of time........ or until another interesting thread is created.
3) Make sure you have finished all food and beverages before reading a comment from "butidonthavemoney." He's hiwawious.
91) Don't plagiarize.
5) This site has had its fair share of trolls and spammers. I took Intro to Troll Psychology and Adult Troll Psychology, so I know quite a bit about Internet Trolls. When it comes to dealing with trolls/spammers, the best advice I can give you is to simply ignore them. Trolls are harder to deal with (seeing as how they can't get banned if they don't break any rules), but it's not impossible.
6) There is a correlation between a high number of points and basketball knowledge. The users with the most points really know their stuff.
7) I'm not the real Oran "Juice" Jones. I'm just a baby-faced 20 year old college student from Northern NJ. If you have tips on growing facial hair, then please tell me, as I'm growing tired of only attracting girls in their early-mid teens.
8) I'm probably gonna get banned for saying this, but I think you need to know the truth: Brandon Jennings and John Wall secretly operate and own this site. Harrison Barnes made an offer to become the 3rd partner, but his offer was denied because he's from Iowa.
9) There used to be a Moderator on this site by the name of tli232. He's notorious for allegedly kidnapping 5 users from this site and holding them hostage while forcefully feeding them elephant toejam sandwiches. He went to prison on the unrelated charge of stealing and eating rocks from a museum. He's eligible for parole soon, so be on your guard, as he has the power to delete and move topics wherever he pleases. He used to be the only person to be able to type in bold and italic letters, but one of the users who escaped from his clutches shared his secret with everybody.
10) You didn't notice the number 91, did you?
11) You scrolled back up to see it.
12) You fell for one of the oldest tricks on the internet.
13) I'm sorry.
14) Anyways, there's a Clippers and a Grizzlies fan on this site! Cool, right? There used to be a Kings fan, but I think he was one of the people kidnapped by til232.
15) King Kong ain't got nothin' on John Bryant.
PS: For your own safety, don't eat the cupcakes on the table. I put laxatives in them. They're meant for this woman/man/cow:
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Heifer stole my Yu-Gi-Oh cards and my man-purse in one swift motion.
What REALLY happened to tli32?
tli232 sent me a letter saying that he's in a halfway house in Texas now. He's working a 9 to 1 shift at a clothing factory, and he's not allowed to be within 50 yards of a playground by himself. There's only one computer in the house, and it's owned by a guy named El Burro Numero Uno. He didn't tell me exactly what he has to do to get access to the computer, but he said it has something to do with shoe shining, creamed corn and Gospel music.
great post...funny as hell
Ha ha hilarious lol. Quite a few new people on here. Welcome to the site!
*a kings fan who has not been taken by tli232*
(P.S. i scrolled up...)
Had tli232 not had his way, then there would have been two of you........... So, how 'bout that Tyreke Evans guy, huh?
Had to give u a point 4 creating this...lol..oh yeah i heard standing in the rain the other day..dat song still sounds good.....
Nice post. I wonder how many people are really new to the site and how man are really just old users with new accounts.
I am actually new to the site, I found it while looking at websites just before this summers draft, I joined to leave like... one comment... and then never really started checking / posting until about a week ago.
Tyreke has surprised me a lot this year so far, he is adapting so fast. He has already hit the point at which other teams are focusing almost solely on him, and this last game he finally evolved enough to figure out how to get his team involved when that happens, which is why they won. He reminds me of Wade... seriously. Its kind of scary to think that he is one of only two people in the NBA averaging at least 18.5 points, 5 rebounds and 4.5 assists a game, the other is Lebron, although Wade, Iggy, Kobe, and Jennings are close.
10, 11, 12, and 13 had me dying...because...i really did fall for it, scrolled up and everything
This is legendary....deserved a bump
Ugh, he was a poster on here....i think he got banned (did he?)
But i used to think you were him when you first came..you guys have similar "descriptions"
But anyway he has a website
http://dribbledrive5.webs.com/ (shameless plug?)
"He" would probably be proud of the shameless plug
Pure epicness. STICKY THIS!!!!!! The mods owe us. They took away SpencerIsHawesome.
UPDATE: tli232 was recently released from the halfway house. He is now attending classes at his random, unnamed, unknown but mentioned and often bragged about Ivy League school, majoring in doucheology, a new major offered by Professor Kanye West. One of his house-mates, El Burro Numero Uno, had this to say about his departure:
"I'm really sad, y'know? Who's gonna make me french toast with scrambled eggs and kosher bacon in the morning? Who's gonna fold my clothes? And trim my faux-hawk? And read to me when I can't sleep? He was pretty creepy though. Sometimes, he would just stand in the living room and look out the window, staring at the little kids walking home, fiddling a bubble-gum cigar in his mouth. He wouldn't move 'til I tapped him on the shoulder, then he'd walk really, really fast to the bathroom and lock the door. Other than that, he was a pretty cool guy. He was the only one in the house that liked my sausage."
One of the suspected victims from his alleged first crime, "SpencerIsHawesome," is said to be alive, but not very well. He is still suffering from severe lacerations inside of his Gluteus Maximus. Due to heavy intravenous injections of morphine to reduce the pain, he doesn't post on "NBADraft.net" as often as he used to. We at "Fox News Sucks" wish him all the best.
For "Fox News Sucks," this is OJ Jones. Back to you at the basement, Lakeesha? Quotionda?
Lakeesha Hurry up wit dat last braid! I got to get back on the urr! OK, um, thank you, OJ! Cute a$$! Ain't he cute, gurl?
I personally find this post hilarious.
No, I've never left this website for any extended period of time. I'm not the A-hole Orange Juice Jones portrays. I simply do my job. If something is out of line, I will have to correct it. People only remember when people get banned, but don't remember that I delete trolls and advertising bots.
I don't post much, but still enjoy reading various posts.
I only ban people who I've warned multiple times. If they want to be rude and inappropriate with their comments, they have to go. Simple as that. SpencerisHawesome kept using anti-Gay slurs amongst other offenses, therefore I sent him various warnings. He did not heed said warnings, hence, he is gone.
Don't hate the Ref, hate the game
Nice alibi, tli232. Very clever, bud :)
why did i miss this, could be the best post i have ever seen. also for new users, some post get pretty funny(see all white basketball league topic) try to read part of all the new topics because you never know when you will find gold. but this topic truly is one of the best along with the eddy curry story.
I agree. This topic sucks. The Eddy Curry story was much better. Does anybody remember who wrote it? Was it Aran Smith?
OJJ, you sure got a dime for a girlfriend.
She might smell like cheese and formaldehyde, and she may not have perfect measurements, but she's been with me through thick and thin. Isn't that what love is all about?
When was she with you through thin?? Show me pictures!
What's in the garbage bag?
DanEboy, OJJ's interpretation of thin could be disturbing if it concerns his girlfriend.
She was with me through thin when um........ uh..........
Her only pair of pants are in the garbage bag. They don't fit in her dresser.
You guys are raggin' on me, you're raggin' on my girl. I'm out.
This is funny stuff, especially the past 6-7 posts.
Is like tli232 gay or sumthin(no Homo)
Still laughing...... this thread is too funny...but or we gonna talk shop about real Ball players or what...The halfway house thing was to funny...I just sharted in my pants....
"He went to prison on the unrelated charge of stealing and eating rocks from a museum."
I thought of this as I was trying to fall asleep and just started laughing uncontrollably. Might be the quote of the year.
EDIT: I made a few adjustments to the original post.
Wow, McDunkin, all of your pictures have expired. That's a damn shame; some of them almost had me on the floor.
yea the bandwith exceeded and its supposed to reset in 2 days since i refuse to pay for a pro account..but i need those pictures...without them there is no McDunkin and the people lurking thread is useless
"SpencerisHawesome kept using anti-Gay slurs amongst other offenses, therefore I sent him various warnings. He did not heed said warnings, hence, he is gone."
TLI hacked my account and posted the alleged "anti-gay" slurs so he could abduct me and noone would question why.. He locked me in his basement, and preceded to do "gay" things to me whenever he desired. Everything in the reports by OJJ is 100% true
Just a warning...
He knows everyone of your guys passwords.
And he knows where you live.
Look out your window, he could be watching you sleep tonight.
AS OF RIGHT NOW, OJJ HAS REACHED HIS GOAL OF 3,456 POINTS!!!
its still funny
Whatever happened to MagikKnick? Should I try and get another search warrant for tli232's basement?
Let's just say I've crossed him off my Revenge List...
So..... How many names do you have on there now?
You never answered my question, Giancarlo Esposito.