A Complete Satirical Article... I just like it... LOL
CHICAGO BULLS TO TAKE DEANDRE JORDAN at NO.1
by Ben Weixlmann
Chicago Bulls GM John Paxson called ESPN's Ric Bucher late Saturday night to inform him of the news: the Bulls would shock the world by taking Texas A&M center DeAndre Jordan.
"We were informed that DeAndre is Michael's nephew." Paxson replied, when asked why the Bulls' organization made the decision. This is an interesting development as the draft looms just three weeks away.
Paxson said that he and Jordan have agreed to a 5-year, $29 million contract that could potentially keep Jordan in a Bulls' uniform through 2015, if the club were to exercise their two-year club option.
After the Bulls won the first pick in the lottery, a miracle considering they held only a 1.7 percent chance, it was almost inconceivable that they would pick anyone not named Derrick Rose or Michael Beasley.
The general public weren't the only ones stunned.
"I was really excited to play with a rookie who would come in and have an immediate impact," forward Luol Deng said. "But I guess if we got the number one pick with such a low probability, maybe that omen will lead us to great things with DeAndre as our franchise center.
The Bulls' decision may not be such a bad idea, however. With a young Joakim Noah starting at center, Jordan could certainly let Noah move to his more natural position of power forward.
"I am absolutely elated with this decision," Jordan said. "My uncle was the greatest to ever lace them up, and it's been a dream of mine to follow him to the Windy City."
Notable press in Chicago were none to pleased. For example, Jay Mariotti was so angry with the situation, that he finally shut his mouth for five seconds on ESPN's Around the Horn. There is even video proof, as "Stat Boy" Tony Reali timed his mute button perfectly.
Unfortunately, Michael Jordan was unable to be reached at his Charlotte residence, although a Bobcat spokesperson read a statement to the public.
"Michael is absolutely thrilled that his nephew will be starting his career in the same city that he now owns. Michael also expressed his enthusiasm that the Bulls wasted their chance to contend for the Eastern Conference crown, leaving the Bobcats a chance to once again claim mediocrity."
Not surprising, both Derrick Rose and Michael Beasley could not be reached by phone, and therefore FBI agents were sent out to make sure they hadn't committed suicide.
Although this news comes as a shock to many, Jordan takes it all in stride.
"I knew this would happen to me one day, I just listened to words of wisdom from Kurt Warner and kept my faith in God."
If the nbadraft.net can create a story between Phil Jackson and Red Auerbach... I can sure hell post a funny satire here...^^
haha that was pretty damn good..."the city he now owns"
that was hilarious!!
lmaooooo Nice One