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Off Topic (jokes)

boshjonesford
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Off Topic (jokes)

ok this is really off topic and im probobly im probobly gonna get negged for this but whatever

lets hear some of your best one line jokes/clever quotes.....

could be basektball related

example - It feels good to know that i have as many NBA championship rings as lebron james

or a genral one line joke

example- "dont make fun of fat kinds, they have enough on their plates"


RUDEBOY_
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OK I Got 1.. Boshjonesford

OK I Got 1..

Boshjonesford will be so far under in Negative Points with this post...

that its going to take The Navy Seal Team to Rescue him from being toast.....

boshjonesford
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damit its gonna suck as i was

damit its gonna suck as i was looking forward to reedeming my points for...um whatever it is that we get for them 8)

McBestForBusiness
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Knock Knock

Knock Knock

I May Be Krypt
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hey!

My friend asked me if there was any Asian gangs out there? I said, yeah man, "they're called study groups"

M-DYMES
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Where do you post a topic

Where do you post a topic called "off topic (jokes)"?

In the nba draft section! lol hahah

boshjonesford
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it was intentonal...it was

^ it was intentonal...it was suposed to be a joke within a joke(some inception &$#%#&@!).. ok i no im BSing 8C

mikeyvthedon
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Knock, knock
M-DYMES
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LOL its cool man. I really

LOL its cool man. I really don't care, I thought it was just interesting b/c the very title was Off-Topic w/ joke in parantheses.

I've seen you're posts b4 and can tell your an decent fella so no prob at all. I'll think up some jokes when I'm more creative ;)

Scottoant93
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Alright this is one i

Alright this is one i sick,wrong and long but

Theres a girl and a guy and their having sex, after their done the guy takes off his condom and throws it out the window, she girl asks why they could use it again, so the guy goes outside gets it out of the grass and they have sex again, after their done he throws it out the window again and she says why you do that we can use it again,

so the guy goes outside except he can't find it, until he sees a little kid playing with it, the guys asks the lil kid "what you got there", the kid responds a twinkie, the guys offers him a doller for it, kid refuses, guy ups it to $50, kid agrees. All of sudden the kid comes home all happy and his mom asks him why the Kid responds" I just got $50 bucks from a guy for a twinkie, but I tricked him i sucked out all the cream filling".*cue in the thats disgusting look or thats F@cked up look*

TAOISM: Sh!t happens. ISLAM: If Sh!t happens, it is the will of Allah. CATHOLICISM: If Sh!t happens, you deserved it. JUDAISM: Why does Sh!t always happen to us? MORMON: 10% of my Sh!t belongs to God. SCIENTOLOGY: Sh!t can happen to you too. RASTAFARIANISM: Let's smoke this Sh!t

Husband and wife arrive in Heaven

Wife: Here we are together again

Husband: Fu(k that Sh!t the deal was till death do us part B!tch. I'm Single

dmo21
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joke

So a midget and a lesbian walk into a bar

I forgot the punchline

But your mother's a whore.

DurantsWingspan
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Q: What was the last thing

Q: What was the last thing going through Mr. Jones’ head when he was working on the World Trade Center’s 90th floor?
A: The 91st floor.

Hahha, it's cool because my best friend lives in NYC.

DurantsWingspan
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Breaking News: Casey Anthony

Breaking News: Casey Anthony killed her baby....Who cares she's &$#%#&@! HOTTTTT!?!

M-DYMES
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Who is the greatest

Who is the greatest prostitute in history?

Ms. Pacman.
For 25 cents she will swallow balls until she dies.

M-DYMES
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So there's this 80 year old

So there's this 80 year old virgin and she suddenly starts to get an itch around her crotch. As days passed, the itch continued so she decided to get it check out by the doctor. The doctor told he she had crabs, to which she knew was impossible since she was still a virgin. Therefore, she decided to wait a couple more days to see if it got any better. 2 days later, the itch still persisted. She decided to then get a second opinion. The next morning she went to another doctor and told him that the previous doctor said she had crabs. She went on to explain that she had never had sex before, so therefore it can't be true. After evaluating her he gave her a new diagnosis. "Mam' you don't have crabs, but your cherry is rotten and you have fruit flies."

aamir543
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So there is a couple wathing

So there is a couple wathing a phsycology show, and the husband says to his wife, "I bet you can't say somthing that makes me happy and sad at the same time. The wife thinks for a moment, and says, "Out of all your friends, you have the biggest dicck

dmo21
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joke

Did you know that all women hold intelligent life cells in their body at one point in their life?

To bad 95% of them spit it out.... HAHA!

ProudGrandpa
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.

Horse walks into bar

Bartender says, "Why the long face?"

Horse says, "My wife just died of cancer"

ProudGrandpa
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a joke

What's green and has wheels? Grass but without the wheels.

Who has multiple MVP awards and NBA Championships? Lebron but without the championships.

Hitster
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Definition of panic - Stephen

Definition of panic - Stephen Hawking in a power cut

LeBron could never be a blinged up rapper - he has no rings!

David Kahn was sat in a traffic jam for two hours then he realised he was in a car park

M-DYMES
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So I asked Gloria James what

So I asked Gloria James what is the blackest thing to ever come out of your vagina.

She said...one of Delonte West's teeth.

TaylorCondrin
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how do u know an asian has

how do u know an asian has robbed your house?

your software has been updated

your rice has been eaten

your homework has been done

...and he is still trying to back out of the driveway

McBestForBusiness
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This thread again? Check my

This thread again? Check my points 92.8% of them are from one liners...I shouldnt spoil you guys with another one but here it goes

So Derrick Favors walks into....

nevermind yall aint even ready for such greatness.

M-DYMES
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(No subject)
Scottoant93
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Mcbased just hyping up his

Mcbased just hyping up his New Upcoming Book ThugLife:Gifs,Swag, and Points... he includes what really happened to his derrick favors joke

LeroyJenkins
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What did Rudeboys moms left

What did Rudeboys moms left leg say to her right leg?

nothin

they've never met

ProudGrandpa
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^That's good

Very, very good

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