NoMoney, mikeyv and Aran_Smith -- Our Trip to the Beach
...is still in the planning stages. However, the three of us recently attended the Nike Hoops Summit over here in Portland!
It was undoubtedly a bit awkward when I first arrived to the Nike Hoops Summit in Portland. I was supposed to meet up with Aran_Smith and I wasn't sure where he was or what he looked like exactly. I could only frantically run up to every tall white guy I saw screaming "Aran?! It's ME! NoMoney!"
Luckily, I got it on my first try. Aran and I squealed a little while jumping up and down. Seemingly out of nowhere, a third party hopped into our celebration. Aran and I stopped and looked at him for a second, confused about why he was crashing our party. The man gulped as the awkwardness set in. He quietly said, "I'm mikeyvthedon..." Aran and I looked at each other briefly before erupting in joy and putting our arms around mikeyv. We shamelessly laughed, cried and hugged for about 20 minutes before deciding to find our seats and watch the game.
We made our way to the lower bowl, a few seats above the international team's bench, complementing each other's attractiveness the entire way. We found three available seats between a little girl with her arm in a sling and an overweight individual with exceptionally long arm hair. We sat down and began chewing the fat, so to speak.
Our trio began exchanging forum gossip. Aran gave us the skinny on tli232, explaining that he's actually been to his basement and he didn't see any dead bodies or prisoners. mikeyv and I looked at each other skeptically. Then we talked about Quincey and his silly antics. Aran told us that Quincey does have multiple accounts and that he is, in fact, JNixon-Iggy9 and LeroyJenkins. We continued to chat about popular forum topics including Lil B, John Bryant and DanEboy's sex addiction.
Things were pretty chill until I mentioned Mollom. At that time, Aran's face turned white as a sheet and we sat in uncomfortable silence as we watched the game for a quarter and a half. Then during timeout break, the Blazers cheerleaders came out with those t-shirt guns. Everyone around us stood up, but not us. We were too cool. Somehow one of the t-shirts fell right in the lap of Aran -- actually, it fell in the lap of the injured 11 year old next to us, but both of Aran's arms worked so he was able to snatch it and fight her off. Anyway, that really lightened everything up again.
We soon resumed laughing and chatting away. We all took turns coming up with hilarious McDunkin names. Most of mine were Pokemon names, but Aran and mikeyv got pretty creative. Some highlights include "McDesperate", "McPunchingBag" and "McGollum". After mikeyv mentioned "McGollum", Aran started doing a hilarious impression. He was like "They're trying to take my precious... I need the precious... Points." We all were laughing to the point of tears. Before we knew it, the game was over.
We exited the arena, and you wouldn't even believe it, there was Jonathon Givony in the flesh. We all looked at each other, none of us said anything, and we just walked over to him. mikeyv slapped his notes out of his hands and we took turns pushing the little squirt into each other. Aran kept calling him GiPhony. Eventually he broke down, fell to his knees and started crying all over the place. We laughed and walked away. It wasn't until later that we learned the Givony didn't attend the game, and we were just pushing around some stocky fourth grader with a spiky haircut.
We went down to the parking garage, but none of us wanted to leave. We decided to have a little more fun. We got OrangeJuiceJones' phone number off of his Facebook page and started prank calling him. The first call was kind of a dud, mikeyv pretended to be a lawyer and told OrangeJuiceJones that he was being sued for malpractice. OJJ told us he wasn't a doctor and that we had the wrong number. Aran got the second one. He called and pretended to be a kidnapper. He told OJJ that he had his sister and he would kill her unless he did everything he told him to. So after getting OJJ to film himself running around the retirement home naked while repeatedly screaming “I am the lone beauty of the east!” and deposit 300 dollars into Aran's Paypal account, we listened to him cry for about three hours before we got bored and hung up the phone.
None of us wanted the night to be over, but it was getting late and Aran had an important flight to catch the next morning. We all promised to hang out again soon and drove apart. I think I speak for everyone involved when I say that it was the best night of our lives...
We'll try to post pictures and the video of OJJ later, so stay tuned.
Why in the heck wasn't I invited? You and I are like thissssssssss. We go way back.
Remember that one time you helped me with getting my avatar?
mikeyv and I are planning on ambushing Aran at the Jordan Brand Classic. You're all welcome to join us.
That'd be swell.
I've got nothing else to do now that the Wolves' season is over.. All I've been doing since last night was sobbing and posting on here.
NoMoney + mikeyv + Aran_Smith =
The only one who thinks of Watto from Star Wars Episode I when you see "NoMoney"
Aside from the time I locked myself in the garage, that was the worst day of my life.
Garages can be tricky &$#%#&@!s. Maybe once or twice a week I show it who's boss by urinating in the corner.
lets see the pictures already! uncensored though just like the end credits from the Hangover please :)
mikeyv has the pictures. When he sends them to me, I'll put them here (unless he wants to post them himself).
These pics will be #WINNING.
I've built them up too much...
Prepare to be disappointed...
Oh boy... you really out did yourself this time. I have always given you credit for your creativity.... but Robert Horry Crap this one along with you your latest fascade kinda made me throw-up in my mouth a bit.
I'll... take that as a compliment...
You look nice today as well.
Thank you NOMoney for the kind words. Your new photo makes you look A little bit like a heroin addicted , H.I.V. infested former &$#%#&@!star on his birthday while eating icecream cake in a crackwhores appartment..
Actually it was taken at a client's house, as I recently got a job as a piano tutor. Other than that, you were pretty right on. Especially about the ice cream.
Don't scream for ice cream?
Please tell me at some point during a game you all stood up and "raised the roof" after a dunk
"Don't scream for ice cream?"
Exactly. I can see you're a step ahead of these other posters.
"Please tell me at some point during a game you all stood up and "raised the roof" after a dunk"
Not once. We only stood to heckle Anthony Davis' unibrow. Oh, and when they played 'Rock Lobster', but that's it.
Aran told me that you were parked outside of his house for 2 days afterwards. And you set his lawn on fire.
He texted me.
I could have sworn that was Rebecca Black's house...
That's why I burned "We We We So Excited" in bubble letters.
I just informed my friend NoMoney that the pictures might be a while as my connector appears to be in Canada. Until than, this will be all the documentation of what truly happened on this momentous occasion. Sorry everybody, I PHUCKED UP :( !!!! Also, I am definitely the Alan of this trio. I do not know if that is good or bad, but I will roll with it!