Good news everyone! I am now a certified, licensed junior astrologer!
I can read your NBADraft.net horoscope simply by reviewing your post count, point count, date joined and viewing history!
Who would like me to read their horoscope, free of charge?
me me me
McDunkin's Horoscope: It's time to stop wanting what you can't have. Seriously, your obsession with Julia Roberts is becoming unhealthy.
WizardofOz's Horoscope: Enjoy silence while you still can. tli's basement is noisy, and eternity is a long time.
Mine also, please.
PurpleMonkeyDishwasher's Horoscope: You will get depressed after a messy breakup with your girlfriend. You will get drunk and superglue a Hannah Montana wig to your head. There will be no way to remove it.
OrangeJuiceJones' Horoscope: No matter how much your little sister beats you, don't let her take your dignity. That will be your wife's job, after she chops off your manhood and drives your Dodge Viper into your tool shed.
I was afraid you were going to say that.
And no. Even now that you know the future, there is no way to change it. These are your fates.
But i mean...even though her bodyguards and the U.S. Justice System say i need to stay 500 feet away from her...the voices tell me we are meant to be
Hmmm I shall go next
I got next
Me Too Me Too!
WizKid's Horoscope: An innocent accident will turn into a consuming sexual fetish for being urinated on.
lakano's Horoscope: You will embark on a quest to kill Kanye West after he upstages your favorite performer... Cher.
Demarcus Oneal's Horoscope: Point bandits will drive you to alcoholism.
If you wouldn't mind..
wd40rocks' Horoscope: Now would not be a smart time to ask your parole officer to join you for a brothel romp.
What's D. O'Neal going to be sippin' on?
WOW!, not only did Money know I'm on parole(stupid public intoxication) he also properly placed the apostrophe on the end of my name.
You sir are a scholar and a gentleman.
PurpleMonkey, I'm sure he's open to suggestions. Why don't you help him out?
As long as he's drunk on booze and not love... there's always some hope for recovery.
A good drinking problem usually starts w/Capt. Morgan... and usually finishes up with a couple nights in jail.
My spiritual advisor Dragon Fly Jones told to be wary of extravagant individuals
If its not too much trouble, then I would like one.
Whoaaa WizKid we need to have a meeting in my office tomorrow....you said that was spoiled lemon-aid on your cubicle floor
@McDunkin just realized thats Kirby gettin it in
Let That Boy Cook
trinajoe's Horoscope: You will develop a strong friendship with cyclo, after discovering that the two of you share an intense phobia of puppets.
lmao. Nomoney my friend, you should have been on Wild N Out. Its a talent to come up with things that fast.
I can clearly see that you took your studies very seriously... for that you should be proud.
And exactly how will I get in tli's basement?
I'm sorry. I cannot answer that question at the moment.
Please try again later.
It's easy to find a basement... it's at the bottom of the stairs.
But I am already an Achoholic?
I think you must be... you are slurring what you write.